But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
