If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
