I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
