Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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