I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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