The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
