ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
