It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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