I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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