I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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