If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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