i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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