shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
