watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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