it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
