I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
