Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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