Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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