is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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