So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How does it feel to date your dad?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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