so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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