I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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