Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
A+ Viking dick
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
