I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I think my vagina is haunted
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Randomize
