My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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