how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
