your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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