been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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