Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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