You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
