have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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