Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Girls should come with a carfax report
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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