You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
