There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
