The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
