this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
