Don't you send me to vm
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
