I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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