guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize