No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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