is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize