tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
