You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
