Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
