so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
