he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize