I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I could fuck to npr.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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