dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dignity is for republicans.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
