I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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