I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
