It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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