the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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