somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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