bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
