I love black thongs
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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