I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
