I must be too annoying 4 u.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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