Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
