No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
