P.S. I can't hear my feet
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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