Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
